It’s Squid Pants here, and I’m paying the price for giving Tweed a second chance.
The first time I tried Tweed was from Toronto’s first legal recreational store right when it first opened. The store sucked but truly nothing could prepare me for the suck I was about to face as it turned out I had bought what turned out to be literally the worst weed I ever had in my entire life there.
This isn’t exaggeration, it was very literally the worst weed I ever purchased.
It was Tweed’s grow of Candyland, which they called Houndstooth. It came in an oversized jar that had what was actually a tiny dish inside the cap and within that was some scentless, tasteless lumps on sticks. It didn’t burn, instead it just turned to charcoal and I got no effects from it whatsoever from attempting to smoke it. The little I tossed into my vapourizer was better inasmuch as it tasted fine (though very faint) and worked effect wise, but still it wasn’t a positive experience when compared to literally any other cannabis I had ever had.
Well, that’s the bar set. Set so low it’s actually smooshed into the ground so the only way past it is to go over, so let’s see if Tweed manages to bring enough to the table to achieve even that.
Wedding Cake is from Seed Junky Genetics and is Triangle Kush x Animal Mints. When grown well it will have a sweet vanilla cake like taste and scent. It’s a bit past its peak in popularity but plenty of Cake crosses are out there, including some we’ve looked at here in the past.
Personally I’m a fan of a well done Cake, so I am going into this hoping for something at least a little good.
Tweed got started as a medical LP and for a while competed with Aurora to be the world’s largest cannabis company. There are some good things I can say about Tweed, they brought a lot of jobs to and helped revitalise Smith Falls Ontario for a time, though they have since pulled out of the town. Their edibles and beverages are cheap and give exactly what the label claims. They have some nice design aesthetics in my opinion. Finally I feel their choices in genetics were promising if they could just grow them well. For example the above mentioned Candyland was something I had wanted to try for ages since I really liked the ancestors, Bay Platinum Cookies & Grand Daddy Purple. All that said there was one thing that Tweed emphatically could not do, and that was grow good weed.
Well that was years ago now and it’s different genetics that are under examination here. Buying this was a chance for Tweed to redeem itself, at least to me, by showing they now know how to produce at least acceptable weed at a fair price.
Unexciting mylar bag, which is the default packaging lately. Really nothing to add so let’s jump right to the stats on the package.
So, a little disclaimer. I do not for a second believe any of these numbers reflect the reality of what’s actually in the bag, or if they do in fact reflect the contents it’s purely coincidental. Further to that I consider this issue to be near ubiquitous in the realm of legal cannabis and not unique to any company nor even just restricted to Canada. Those numbers are predominantly a fiction used for marketing purposes and should be ignored. Still, we collect this information as stated on the package for both reviews and for statistical analysis as it’s the only data the producers are providing.
The label claims 22.7% THC and CBD so low as to be within the margin of error. Terpenes are listed as 2.10% total with the top three tested for being beta-Caryophylene, Myrcene and Limonene.
This was packaged on July 15th, 2022 and I opened it up 220 days later.
It does actually look ok. Deep green, respectable sized and shaped buds dense with trichomes and with a great trim. That said the trichomes do have the brownish tint of age and oxidation. It spent a long time in the bag and who knows how long in storage before that so not a surprise.
Very dense and hard to compress, but returns to shape once pressure is relieved.
Humidity is near ideal, this cannabis feels nice in a grinder, grounds come out fluffy and if you are a joint smoker it rolls up nicely.
And here’s where it all really starts falling apart. Up to this point you would be forgiven for thinking this is good, albeit a bit old, cannabis.
Smell is caustic, almost a burning plastic smell. Luckily that scent is somewhat weak. Next in the line up we have proportionally more myrcene than expected. Yes the myrcene is also weak, but out of what I actually expect it’s over represented. Finally, barely detectable but definitely there is that vanilla icing scent, along with faint wisps of caryophyllene.
Volcano: The caustic smell does come through in the taste unfortunately. Just behind that is myrcene and the beta-caryophyllene contributed earthiness and that’s about it. The best thing about this profile is it fades to zero after the first run.
Joint: The caustic taste comes through here too. There is also the taste of myrcene, which is fine but quiet in pronunciation. Last and barely detectable there is that vanilla icing taste accented with limonene, but you really need to draw hard and then go looking to even find it. Nothing is pronounced so well that any of it is worth that caustic taste though. The burn is surprisingly clean with nice clean ash but the taste quickly degrades to a nasty mix of whatever caused that burnt plastic taste and combustion products. This is a great choice if you are looking for reasons to stop combusting, I know I cut down my actual smoking even more after this one.
PRICE AND VALUE
I paid $22.95 for 3.5 grams (but you can see from the pictures I got a pretty noticeable undercount of 3.35 grams) which is, ignoring the undercount, $6.56 a gram. If you are looking for a good price for THC content, this one works out to $2.43 per 100 mg of THC according to their supplied numbers.
Low prices don’t make up for both weak and nasty scents and tastes. If you are looking to try out Wedding Cake, the profile of this is just not going to give you that experience. Skip this one, past the superficial it doesn’t offer much in the way of enjoyable characteristics.
The appearance, feel and clean ash during combustion of this cannabis really surprised me, I never thought I’d see that level of quality with Tweed on the label. Of course though so much of the cannabis experience is about scent and taste, and what little was there was predominantly just plain gross.
Tweed has truly outdone themselves for this offering and raised the bar to the point it’s actually possible to be worse than them. In relative terms it’s an achievement they should be proud of. In absolute terms this is trash and once I had had enough to review it I threw the rest away.